Helping Aging Parents

 

One of the most challenging things to do in our adult lives will be dealing with our aging parents. Many of us are sandwiched between elderly parents and young children. Nearly half of adults in their 40’s have a parent age 70 or older and we are also either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child. Take a breath ‘cuz it’s a lot to handle!

It’s time to face the reality and be as well equipped as possible to deal with the responsibilities that come with caring for parents and children simultanously.

Besides dealing with the usual unknowns of daily life, taking care of our parents may quickly become a daily responsibility. One of the hardest things to do will be to convince a parent to move out of their long-time home or get the care they need. Often they get to a point where they cannot live on their own and they will need more support.

Here are a few basic tips to use and to help things stay in perspective while in this extremely difficult process.

IMPORTANT ITEMS TO DISCUSS:

CAREGIVING – Caregiving is a family affair. Often the child who lives closest to the parent is going to handle most of the burden simply because of proximity. It is important to gather your brothers, sisters, children and uncles and aunts together to address an ailing loved ones needs. It is good to have a meeting and discuss the problem, without the parent present, and be realistic about the situation.

THE FUTURE: It’s never too early to start to have regular conversations about what the future holds. Approach it as your problem instead of your parent’s problem, If you tell them ‘you have to do this, or do that’, you’ll lose them. Instead say something like, ‘Mom, I’m concerned about you; it makes me worried to see you like this.'” Share your concerns from YOUR perspective and try to get a plan in place.

POWER OF ATTORNEY: Important items to address include financial issues and who will act as the elder’s durable power of attorney for health care. “One of the most important things is to decide who will make the critical decisions,”. Typically a family approach is recommended where one capable person be appointed as the elder’s primary advocate. This person, whether a son or daughter or adult grandchild, should be in charge of financial decisions and act as the elder’s durable power of attorney for health care.

FINAL WISHES:

Although difficult, take the time to talk to your parent(s) about their final wishes. Do they have plans already made or do they avoid the discussion like the plague? The more you know, the less you have to worry about the “what if’s”. Traditions, buriel/cremation plans, financial situations and any other wishes should be discussed and ideally documented.

The more open and honest everyone is the better the outcome. This is often a challenging time for most families but you need to try and look at the bright side. Life is short, the people that drive you crazy are the ones you’re going to miss the most!

Try to stay present, get support, communicate effectively (not emotionally) and be grateful every day.  It’s also good to keep in mind the way you treat/talk about your parents in front of your children. They are also learning about caring for people and what they see from you sets the tone for their general compassion.

Try to come from a place of love. This is what being an adult is all about!

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

It’s already February! Well basically. It’s January 31.

How did that happen so fast?

Here we are in 2016. Our kids are older and changing every day. We’re older. We’re finally settled into the new year and the holidays feel like a distant memory.

As we have thoughtfully planed for the year ahead, many of us may have high expectations for ourselves (not to mention our kids!). There’s probably so much going on in your life right now that you need to STOP for one moment and take a breath.

We want to accomplish all we set out to do. But first, we must set ourselves up for greatness and success. Let’s start by evaluating our (often overwhelming) expectations.

Be realistic and respectful of yourself. What are your goals? Can you just make a sudden shift and turn tired old habits into new productive ones? Or, do you need to make shifts more gradually with a lot of support?

I personally like to set goals. Goals can be set small or high but there is less pressure attached to the idea of a goal, than making an “instant” shift. Know your patterns. Set smaller, easily attainable goals that will eventually lead you to the bigger accomplishments you want to make down the road. They also keep me focused.

Here are my goals for 2016:

• Exercise at least 30-50 minutes/ 4-5 days a week
• Take my vitamins daily and be more conscious of “white food” intake. Eat more veggies!
• Take classes.
• Meet new people and try new things.
• Have lower expectations of others & try to not take things personally.
• Practice gratitude.

I have many other things I want to accomplish (photography classes, sustainable gardening, learning another language, getting my Nutritionist certification…) but I feel these few are the most important to get me in a good head space. I have simplified all of my goals into these six “self-improvement” goals, this way, I am setting myself up for success. The more success I have, the more likely I am to set and maintain higher goals down the road.

Most importantly be nice to yourself! If you are making positive changes and listening to your inner voice, you will feel so good! Be your best self and give yourself a pat on the back for making any positive changes in your life.

If you can simplify your life one goal at a time, you cannot fail. Take one step at a time and believe in yourself. You are the master of your choices!

Blessings and love,

Stacy

Accessible Medications

One very important thing to keep organized is your medications.

It is crucial to stay current with these in case of emergency. Especially with kids or elderly people in your home you want to know that you have everything you need in case of an emergency.

With just a few, simple steps you too can be super organized and will no longer  have expired meds, vitamins and ointments taking up space in your medicine cabinets. So gather all your meds, first-aid kits, band-aids and vitamins and lets get started!

FIRST:

Asses your situation:

Where are all of your meds? In case of emergency, do you have everything you need in one place? If not start by gathering all meds and first-aid items, including band-aids and emergency items such as Epi-Pens or Antihistamines.

You should now think about WHERE you take your vitamins and meds and keep them in one container in that room. You can use items like plastic shoe boxes, small lazy susans or drawer organizers or whatever you may have to consolidate like items together.

I like to keep our daily vitamins and meds in the kitchen so I can take them and give to my kids at breakfast. Any meds or vitamins I take at night, I keep that in my night-stand drawer and I keep all First Aid items and extra supplies in our hall linen closet in labeled bins:

NEXT:

Gather ALL meds, first aid items, creams and vitamins. Go through all items one by one reading the dates and the pertinent information.

Any expired meds and creams should be put into one “discard” pile. Any medications you no longer use or were for a past infection or illness should also be put into the discard pile.

Take all other like items and store together in the place you will be using them. Organize by type and label for easy accessibility.

FINALLY

Getting rid of the expired stuff:

There are many improper ways to dispose of meds, like tossing in the trash or flushing down the toilet. Here is what I like to do to insure they don’t get into the wrong hands or filtered into our water system.

According to the FDA, they give the following suggestions when throwing out expired, unwanted, or unused medicines:

• Some pharmacies have Medicine Take-Back Programs, if you have a large number of meds to dispose of, I suggest finding a pharmacy that offers this.
• If you choose to dispose of items at home:
  • Mix medicines (do NOT crush tablets or capsules) with an unpalatable substance such as kitty litter or used coffee grounds;
  • Place the mixture in a container such as a sealed plastic bag; and
  • Throw the container in your household trash.

Before throwing out your empty pill bottles or other labeled packaging, remember to scratch out (or tear off) all information on the prescription label to make it unreadable.

In regards to expired liquids and syrups, these can be poured down the drain. Expired creams can safely be tossed in the trash.

Please take the time to do this. It is so important to take inventory on a yearly basis. You do not want to be caught unprepared.

Cheers to your health!

 

 

 

 

 

Peaceful Functional Bathrooms

 

Do you cringe with disgust every time you peek inside your child’s bathroom? Are your bathrooms a cluttered mess? Is it hard to find things when you need them? Then it’s time to get in there and PURGE!

First off, lets think about a few things. A bathroom should be a simple, yet functional space. For many of us, yes I’m talking to all you busy mommies out there, being alone in the bathroom is the only ALONE time we get all day! Let’s take some time to make it a nice, relaxing, super-functional space to be in. It should only take you about one hour or less (depending on the size and amount of stuff in there).

Before you get started, I encourage you to envision what you want your space to look like. Do you want it to look like the Four Seasons Hotel lobby bathroom, your favorite spa or something completely custom tailored to you?

Think about WHAT you use your bathroom for. Some people share ONE bathroom with their entire family and others have their very own luxurious abode plus multiple bathrooms for all family members. Be realistic about your space.

Whether you share your bathroom or not, it needs to be cleaned, de-cluttered, inventoried and re-stocked on a fairly regular basis. If you only keep the besic necessities, this will be easy to maintain.

Here are a few helpful tips to get started on your bathroom purge:

• Grab a few trash bags and a large towel and get in there.
• Take out all items in cupboards and drawers one at a time. Dump out drawer and cupboard contents onto a towel.
• TOSS out anything you no longer use. BE REALISTIC! Even if it cost $200.00, if you don’t use it, you don’t need it! If its expired, definitely throw it out.
• SORT AND KEEP like items together.
• Asses your belongings and put them back in separated bins, baskets or containers.
• Some basic categories for bathroom necessities might be: FIRST AID, BEAUTY, HEALTH, SKINCARE, HAIR, BODY CARE. Store like items together and store in convenient cupboards, drawers or cabinets.
• If you are doing your kids bathroom, set them up for success by only having what they actually need in there. They are more likely to wash up, brush and floss if the items necessary are readily accessible and in full view.

Remember, its not just about the stuff. It’s how you are connected to it. If clearing out the clutter (any clutter) fills you with anxiety, take a moment to examine that feeling. Ask yourself if your stuff is more important than your well-being. If you need some help taking the first few steps, ask a friend or your local Professional organizer.

If you only have what you need in your space, it will be so much easier to get ready. Once you make the commitment and take the time to do it, you will feel so much cleaner and lighter! Enjoy your new space!